The coin falls dreamily through the air
And lands into my open palm
I close my hand with a flowering gesture
hoping you don't see the secret move
I snap my fingers and the sound rings
I say its gone but you don't believe
I open my hand and the screams start erupting
For the coin has vanished, disappeared, and that is that
They tell me to do it again
I tell them a magician does a trick but once
They beg and beg to see the miracle once more
But I say cherish the memory of what you saw
Because its not the trick
Not my hands or my moves
But the magic only happens Inside you
In your mind and in your soul
The moment that passed cannot come back
Cannot be retrieved from the essence of time
For the moment was unique
Although the trick was the same
Just remember the feeling
Of total impossibility
When your whole perspective was taken out
In an instant of pure magic
But before I leave I reach inside my pocket
And pull out the coin that went
And I tell them not to worry
Because magic don't cost a cent
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139,529 Literary Works • 672,599 Reviews
I like it a lot! The wording and rhythm was a bit awkward in some places, but otherwise it's very nice. I especially love the ending.
Great job!
I love how you have captured the essence of the audience's reaction:
I snap my fingers and the sound rings
I say its gone but you don't believe
I open my hand and the screams start erupting
For the coin has vanished, disappeared, and that is that
They tell me to do it again
I tell them a magician does a trick but once
They beg and beg to see the miracle once more
But I say cherish the memory of what you saw
I have absolutely nothing bad to say
I thought this was a bit awkward in some places, but basically the freeverse was outstanding and the ending perfect. The only objection I have was that you dragged out a lot of it...and I also didn't feel that the two-line format complimented the poem. But you have successfully grasped the meaning of that fleeting sensation of actual fantasy - actual magic.
thats intreting it sertenly had a flow so thats good i liked this short bit
I snap my fingers and the sound rings
I say its gone but you don't believe
very nice i would change this bit but not much
They tell me to do it again
I tell them I can do it only once
apart from that very nice
Keep up the good work!
There are two spelling errors:
dissapeared??
essense??